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Monday, March 12, 2007, 8:09 PM

This is not really going to be a blog post. This will just be an avenue for me to reveal my emotions and feelings to everyone reading this blog for the past four days or so;


I have been left out in the dark many times, scourged by untrustful friends, mocked by their laughter, adored only to be scorned after. I have trusted many of you with my life, and I get humiliated in return, besides the few who care a lot more. If I'm lucky enough, I get returned the favour.

I've looked back on the past few days and weeks we have been spending together. I realised those were the only times we spent together so closely, so happily, so faithfully. Everytime I met you a big smile would appear on my face, because this life would never be the same without your kindness, your laughter, your friendship. You have always been there for me, making sure I was happy, always putting a smile on my face. I admire you for everything that you are.

Just a few days ago, someone got me damn pissed off because of his lack of responsibility to notify me properly about a certain movie outing. That was when everything we had, started to crumble. I always looked up to you, and this is what you do to me. Ignore me, leave me out in the dark like I used to be. How ironic isn't it?

I'm saying all this not because I hate you, not because I want to mock you, not because I want revenge or set up some vendetta with you. I just want you to know how I feel inside, how deeply hurt I am, how sad I am feeling right now, how I just want to cry my heart out. I don't want our close friendship to end. Not now, not ever. I hate myself for telling everyone who is reading this blog now how I feel right now, how I have been feeling these past few days. I can't bear the pain, the anguish, the sorrow. I can't fight in this world alone without your friendship. I can't go on like this, feeling this way whenever things don't go the way its supposed to be. I just can't...pick up the baton and continue the race.

The next thing I know after you all have read this post, is to message me something either through phone or on MSN messanger. Be it either comforting, or being speechless, I have no doubt. But if you dearly wish to give up some time to talk to me, to console me, to sort out things with me, I'm all ears. But for now, I'll just sit here in my seat, wishing everything be what it was just five days ago.

Living every moment of your life is meaningful. So why not make it more meaningful by spending every moment of it with someone else you love. -Darryl