Saturday, March 31, 2007, 11:01 PM
I just came back from Lenten Vigil practice with my choir. I was touched by a few songs we practiced today. Since today was our last practice we sang the whole proper, which is a total of eight songs. The songs are:
Via Dolorosa,
Willingly,
Above All,
Prodigal Son,
Be Not Afraid,
He Will Carry You,
Were You There, and
Take Up Your Cross.
The choir of Genesis 2 of Holy Family Church will be singing for the 10pm service of Maundy Thursday as part of Lenten Vigil. Please do join us in the Garden of Gethsemane as we keep watch from 10pm to 11pm.
Back to the main topic. I've have been touched the most by one particular song, which is Be Not Afraid. After we started singing the third verse, I was amazed at the lyrics in the third verse. This is how it goes:
Blessed are the poor, for the kingdom shall be theirs.
Blest are you who weep and mourn, for one day you shall laugh.
And if wicked tongues insult and hate you all because of me.
Blessed, blessed are you.
It has struck me as it relates a lot to me and those who I know. I would like everyone who has read this post to just think about it. I shall end off with another song, He Will Carry You, as I write down the lyrics.
~He Will Carry You~
There is no problem too big, God cannot solve it.
There is no mountain too tall, He cannot move it.
There is no storm too dark, God cannot calm it.
There is no sorrow too deep, He cannot soothe it.
If He carried the weight of the world, upon his shoulders.
I know my brother that He will carry you.
If He carried the weight of the world, upon his shoulders.
I know my sister that He will carry you.
He said come unto me.
All who are weary.
And I will give you rest.
There is no problem too big, God cannot solve it.
There is no mountain too tall, He cannot move it.
There is no storm too dark, God cannot calm it.
There is no sorrow too deep, He cannot soothe it.
If He carried the weight of the world, upon his shoulders.
I know my brother that He will carry you.
If He carried the weight of the world, upon his shoulders.
I know my sister that He will carry you.
See the colours of the rainbow. See the images of love. Hear the music when the wind blows. Hear the angels up above. In the beauty of a new day. In the joy of every spring. Can you see God, can you see Him? Can you hear God, can you hear Him? Can you see God, can you see Him? Can you see God in everything? -Can You See God by Chris de Silva
Wednesday, March 21, 2007, 9:27 PM
This post is dedicated to all my World of Warcraft buddies and guildies. I have decided to stop playing. For good? I won't know, only time will tell.
Remember the times we had together? Questing, chatting, doing loads of stuff what so ever? I'll miss those times. But I have lost many friends because of my addiction to the game. I have lost time to socialise with my friends who are dear to me. I do not want any more of this. I do not want to lose my friends, my humanity just because I'm stuck in front of my computer the whole day, playing the time away without giving any spare thought to my friends, family etc.
This is the forum thread that I posted today on my guild website;
--Just recently my WoW prepaid time ended, and from then I still haven't gotten another card to top up the time. After some thought, I decided that I won't get another card, maybe not now, maybe not ever.
Ever since I started playing WoW after my major exams, I admit that I was addicted to it. As a result, I have lost friends, lost time to socialise with the people I knew dearly. I have missed meals, sleep(as a result of playing in a server from the other side of the world). I can't take the pain anymore.
So Ridge Runners, it has been great being with you guys. I loved every minute we had together, be it questing, talking or what so ever. Just like Sunderhorn, I requested the guild recruitment channel for a guild. I recieved a tell from Spidermouse, asking me if I was interested in joining Ridge Runners. I happily agreed, not knowing that the guild almost turned out to be another family of mine.
But I'm so sorry that I have to leave this family. I have too many things to take care of now, too many things that I need to patch up. So I won't be coming back to WoW for maybe a year or two. Maybe never. I don't wish to screw up my life again.
Thanks once again Ridge Runners. This is Allthuros, signing out.
Ciao!!
(I'll be visiting the guild webbie still and going onto vent to if possible, talk to you guys, to let you all know I'm still here for you all.) --
Yeah, thats what I wrote. Ridge Runners is the name of the guild if you didn't realise. I'll miss everything, but its just a game. My real life, my real friends, my dearest friends are much more important to me.
This is all for this post. Ciao!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007, 1:42 PM
This is a post to my clique, to everyone I've caused anger or hate or what so ever. I'm sorry beyond words, for I did not realise what I have become until someone told me about it, harshly so as to get it into my fu*king head.
I've finally realised what a selfish and foolish person I have become. I hate myself. Okay? You get it? I fu*king hate myself for everything that I have caused. Everything that I have become. I didn't realise whos fault it was actually until I saw it from another person's point of view. And I must admit; I do not like every part of me.
If I could, I would have taken a pistol and placed a bullet through my head. But I don't want that. My friends don't want that. Even though I'm a useless, selfish and proud, I know I'm not worth it. Since the start of this post, I have been tearing, angry at myself, angry with the stupid game that nearly cost me my friends. I wish all this would not have happened. I wish I could be the person you all think I am capable of, the person you all want me to be, the person who I am not currently. I have caused too much burden in everyone's life.
I have gotten angry over minor things, agitated over friends who I have accused of wrongly. I want to throw every grudge I had against any one of you. I'm so sorry for all I have become. I don't want to lose you all. You all have been always there for me, accepting me for who I am, for who I've become. I did not realise it. I did not take into consideration your acceptance.
I only have one favour to ask of you for now. The favour would be to leave me alone as I lay on my bed, crying my heart out, crying my corrupted, selfish and foolish heart out. I want to change. But I need time. And I need your guidance, your support and your forgiveness. I need you to stand by me as I change, and grow up from the useless self I have been. I need you to stand by me for if I should fall, I know you will be there to carry me back up to my own feet. And most importantly, I need your motivation, your love, to keep me standing by myself, to prevent me from losing my humanity.
I hate myself for making you tell me whatever you have told me. But I think that was the only way that I can change, the only way I can see what a true friend you are.
I have a lot more I have yet to say, but I shall leave the post as it is for now. I don't want to start breaking down all over again.
Don't ever leave me behind and alone. For if I should falter, I won't know where to continue. -Darryl
Monday, March 12, 2007, 8:09 PM
This is not really going to be a blog post. This will just be an avenue for me to reveal my emotions and feelings to everyone reading this blog for the past four days or so;
I have been left out in the dark many times, scourged by untrustful friends, mocked by their laughter, adored only to be scorned after. I have trusted many of you with my life, and I get humiliated in return, besides the few who care a lot more. If I'm lucky enough, I get returned the favour.
I've looked back on the past few days and weeks we have been spending together. I realised those were the only times we spent together so closely, so happily, so faithfully. Everytime I met you a big smile would appear on my face, because this life would never be the same without your kindness, your laughter, your friendship. You have always been there for me, making sure I was happy, always putting a smile on my face. I admire you for everything that you are.
Just a few days ago, someone got me damn pissed off because of his lack of responsibility to notify me properly about a certain movie outing. That was when everything we had, started to crumble. I always looked up to you, and this is what you do to me. Ignore me, leave me out in the dark like I used to be. How ironic isn't it?
I'm saying all this not because I hate you, not because I want to mock you, not because I want revenge or set up some vendetta with you. I just want you to know how I feel inside, how deeply hurt I am, how sad I am feeling right now, how I just want to cry my heart out. I don't want our close friendship to end. Not now, not ever. I hate myself for telling everyone who is reading this blog now how I feel right now, how I have been feeling these past few days. I can't bear the pain, the anguish, the sorrow. I can't fight in this world alone without your friendship. I can't go on like this, feeling this way whenever things don't go the way its supposed to be. I just can't...pick up the baton and continue the race.
The next thing I know after you all have read this post, is to message me something either through phone or on MSN messanger. Be it either comforting, or being speechless, I have no doubt. But if you dearly wish to give up some time to talk to me, to console me, to sort out things with me, I'm all ears. But for now, I'll just sit here in my seat, wishing everything be what it was just five days ago.
Living every moment of your life is meaningful. So why not make it more meaningful by spending every moment of it with someone else you love. -Darryl
Sunday, March 11, 2007, 11:59 AM
Wow! I just came back from watching Letters From Iwo Jima with my parents. I can assure you one thing; It is the most meaningful World War II movie. You know usually most WWII movies come from the american point of view? This movie however comes from the Jap's point of view.
Summarised details of the movie:
The movie tells the story of a Japanese soldier, Kazunari Ninomiya acting as Saigo. He was a baker together with his wife, who before the war was pragnent. And when the war came, Saigo was posted to help defend Iwo Jima, an island near southern Japan. As it was so close to Japan, the americans would easily make use of the island for their advantage to stop Japan. (Sorry if this reminds you of your past history lessons. Haha.)
The movie goes on, showing the arrival of a smart general, Ken Watanabe acting as General Tadamichi Kuribayashi who has a lot of battlefield tactics and strategies, which the other japanese officers think its american sympathism, because Kuribayashi lived in America a couple
of years before the war.
I shan't spoil the movie by telling you everthing, go watch it for yourself. It is a great movie i assure you. I rate it 4/5. Battle scenes were awesome. Great graphics and great sound.
However there is one part that is disgusting. (For those who are scared of blood and gore, you better close your eyes during this part of the movie.)
There is one part of the movie where an officer gives a unnessasary command for his troop to kill themselves. And how do they kill themselves? They whip out a grenade, pull the pin, knock the armed grenade against their helmet, put it against their chest, shout (in jap) "For the Empire!", and await their death. When the grenade explodes, it is just horrifying. Blood and body parts fly. If they didn't show that, then they will show the remains of their body on the floor. Just DISGUSTING!! ZOMGWTFHBBQPWNAGENOOB!!
Haha alright, thats all I will talk about the movie, and maybe for this post too. xD
See you!!
Do what is right...Because it is right. -Letters from Iwo Jima
