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Thursday, February 15, 2007, 7:45 PM

I've ran my final race against time, my past has caught up with me. Memories of the times I had flashed across my face, bewildering me, leaving me breathless and heartbroken at the same time. I try to forget, but it seems futile. I can't forget because SHE has played a major part of my life as an individual.

I reached the MRT today in the morning, feeling drowsy and tired, due to the sleepless nights I have been having, doing some soul-searching, recollecting my thoughts. Momentarily as I boarded the train for work, I caught a glimpse of a familiar shadow. My friend? I presumed. I walked over to get a better look. She...I mean He was no one I knew. I have been hallucinating and I kept seeing things I thought and should be there. I knew the problem.

Friends tell me to forget about it, the others tell me to go for it; both having concerns for me due to my fragile heart and soul.

Forget about it so if anything should happen, you won't be left down in the dumps like you have been before.

Go for it, this may be the only chance you'll ever have and have faith in yourself.

I'm in a confused state, beckoning my ego to help me realise my fate. Is this it? Do I really have to give up all hope or do I take the appropiate action?

Getting out the door into the corridor of my workplace, I did some soul-searching, looking out of the window, wondering what is my purpose, wondering if there could be something I could have done to make it all turn for the good. I closed my eyes, as I listened to my friend's voice from my phone, consulting me about my situation, consoling me, giving me hope. I turned away. A tear rolled down my cheek, inevitably emotion taking control over me.

I pushed myself away from reality, opened the emergency staircase door, and entered. I looked down the flight of stairs, apparently thinking of doing the inevitable. But then I realised its not worth it, I'm not worth it. I let out another tear, eventually breaking down, collapsing into a heap. Faith.

I screamed, letting out my anguish, my pain, my sorrow as I gave a punch to the wall. I became senseless, too selfish about my feelings, about her feelings. I just wanted all of this to end, be it happily or sadly, just end the terror I'm facing.

If you don't learn to have faith in yourself, then you will never have faith in anyone else. -Darryl

<Darryl got out of his seat and laid on his bed, soaking his pillow with tears of sorrow.>